Jean Fitzpatrick tells Yahoo Lifestyle." data-reactid="30"A lot of that depends on the couple’s past, New York-based relationship therapist Jean Fitzpatrick tells Yahoo Lifestyle.“Because we think of man-as-taller as ‘normal,’ sometimes this height difference sparks anxiety, usually at first,” Fitzpatrick says.“A very tall woman may have felt like a giant growing up and dating, and may sometimes wish for a guy who feels like her match in height.Slowly, this extreme standard of height waned, but I still felt awkward if he was near as tall as I was.After all, shouldn’t the right man make me feel feminine and small?Do they express care for each other in everyday ways? Then we’re betting Turner’s choice of footwear will have everything to do with her dancing plans, not her groom’s height." data-reactid="36"Regardless of height, “Jophie” look pretty happy together, as they begin to plan their wedding, which will feature Maisie Williams as a bridesmaid and some kind of speech (or more) from Nick Jonas.Then we’re betting Turner’s choice of footwear will have everything to do with her dancing plans, not her groom’s height.Prioritizing height on my checklist seemed like an easy way to avoid my issue with my weight. I came to realize that this idea of the right man fixing my insecurities permeated my dating criteria.
Why do people get so fixated on this kind of pairing?
Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing bad in finding your man’s height swoon-worthy.
Yet, when I think about why I thought tall guys were more attractive, I found that it boiled down to one thing: my own insecurities. While I didn’t exactly have an eating disorder, I can’t recall a time during my adolescence when I wasn’t on some sort of diet.
It was as if he had peeped in on my mental conversation earlier that afternoon, when I was debating whether I should wear wedges or flats.“I don’t really know . While he probably just asked this question out of banal curiosity—he wasn’t exactly the tallest guy in the world—little did he know how loaded this question really was. Years before this, I went to an all-female high school, which meant that if there were going to be boys present at a dance, we had to invite them. Sure, Mark was my buddy from childhood—we talked on AIM all the time. Through high school and college, and even into my early twenties, with beau after beau, height was one of the defining characteristics in what I found attractive in a man.
I distinctly remember brainstorming who I was going to invite to my first dance as a freshman. He was cute, friendly, funny, and pretty much the ideal first-dance date candidate except for one thing: He was a couple inches shorter than me. If I still felt petite wearing four-inch heels with my frame of 5 feet 6 inches, he was worth my attention.
A shorter man may have been the smallest guy on the team and so dating a taller woman may be an uncomfortable reminder of shame he hasn’t worked through yet.