Such intimacy is built on communication and friendship and leads to deep affection and a satisfying sex life.
However, creating this intimacy is hard work and much harder than the easy escapism of the internet or watching TV or even over-working or domestic chores.
Relationship counselling agencies report that a growing number of couples are now seeking help due to infidelity online or to one partner accessing adult websites.
How much of a problem it is, depends on the degree and type of access and what it means in the context of the marriage.
ASK THE EXPERT: QI have been married 10 years and we have four children aged 9, 7, 6 and 4.
Recently, I discovered that my husband has been using adult chat rooms online and seems to have been communicating in sexually explicit ways with other people.
When this happens frequently, it can lead to a reduction in their sex-life together, a growing sense of disconnection and an erosion of the marital bond.Moving forward In the aftermath of discovering your husband’s online world, it is perfectly understandable that you might feel disgusted and betrayed and to worry as to how much you can trust your husband.You might benefit from going to counselling especially if you feel traumatised and need to the help of an impartial listener to process some of the feelings.Of course your husband should not blame you and he must take responsibility for how he has hurt you with his online behaviour, but the two of you must take responsibility for improving the marriage.Though it may be painful, the fact that you have started talking about issues is a good sign.My husband is a great father and has always been very hands-on with the children who really love him and I don’t want to end up separated.