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“Married” people can range from enemies trying to make each other’s lives miserable, to activity partners who happen to live together, to someone you are madly in love with and want to start a family with. ” This is actually a “good” case where the difference in definition is apparent before legally binding stuff occurs.So when you figure out if you really want to be married, also make it clear to yourself what being married means to you. What if this conversation happens with one person wanting kids and the other not after they are married for a while?Fill in the blank: This is what marriage means to me: When you’re clear on what you want, we can take a look at what you can do to accomplish that! Does your definition of marriage require an actual wedding? Can you imagine the emotional pain and legal headaches?Maybe you wrote something like “Two people who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together”. You need to be clear on what you expect from a husband/wife, so that when he/she says “Yes!! The only way you can do that is if you know what you’re asking!!Outside of a relationship, you would have 1920 hours to socialize with people.Locked in a “bad” relationship, you would only have 480 hours to invest in your other potential relationships.Without this list, one of the most common things that happen is that you meet someone who satisfies some of the qualities on your list.You devote a significant portion of your time into that relationship (say a year or two), only to realize later that this person simply does not have the qualities you need to become your husband or wife.

It only takes a few questions to figure out if someone has a decent idea of what they want in life, so that the amount of time invested in “rejecting” a potential candidate is highly minimized.

Well, that doesn’t require an actual “legal” marriage! Once you’ve figured out what a marriage entails (so that you know what to ask a potential husband / wife), the question is who to ask!

You can tell someone “I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you”, and if he/she says “I love you too – that sounds great! Well, it’s to make sure you know what you want well enough that you can express it to the other person. Take a while and think about what qualities you need in someone for marriage.

After all, how can something be a problem if it isn’t relevant to something you want?

Knowing the outcome you want also lets you know what exactly constitutes a solution to the problem.

You just lost 3/4 of your time by hanging on to a relationship that doesn’t work!

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