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We're never going back to that restaurant anyway." Bob was in trouble. " The next morning he got up early and left for work.

When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

" The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong!

The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages." "Nah," she says, "that's okay. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!

*Ba dum tss* Even if dad jokes aren't your thing, you have to admit, it's pretty funny.

" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean? " So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!

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READ MORE: Dating with an STI: 7 ways to navigate the (often harsh) dating world“Make a reference to something specific,” Ray says. If we were to go out for dinner, where would we go? ”Authenticity can seem like a pipe dream when you’re meeting people through a digital app, but being genuine and even showing a little vulnerability can be very charming.“People appreciate authenticity in a first message.

It’s also the best way to stand out, says Laura Bilotta, a Toronto matchmaker and author of .“Now is not the time to play coy,” she says.

“Even if you play it over-confident, most people will understand that you’re trying to stand out rather than being vain.”Suggested lines: “This app says we’re 93 per cent compatible.

X “You’d be surprised how many people don’t give genuine compliments because they’re afraid of rejection,” Masini says.

Go for something specific and genuine that shows you’ve really read their profile or noticed something about them that wouldn’t be obvious to everyone.

Even though they sound a bit out-there, they actually worked!

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